The Fire

Since I wrote last, Jon’s 53rd birthday and the one year anniversary of his passing have come and gone.   I had not yet taken the time to sit down and write about that “one year” experience.   For the last couple of blog entries I strayed from cataloging the pure grief experience.   It’s ok, there are no rules here and I like watching the way this has grown and evolved, but for a moment, I need to return to why I started this originally.   Originally I wanted to detail the raw, unkempt experience of grief so that I could look back and see God’s healing taking place over time.   Let’s go there, shall we?   As the one year anniversary approached, I found myself struggling severely with depression and anxiety, unable to sleep, nights filled with catastrophic thinking and fear, numb during the day, unable to stay focused or have the motivation and energy to take care of things that needed to be done.   Depression….how fitting, I thought.   The thing that killed Jon is making