The Fire

It’s time to write.   The 6th month anniversary of Jon’s death came and went and I could not write. I tried, I thought about it, but I could not gather my thoughts and so I took that as a sign the Holy Spirit was saying, “not yet.”   I don’t feel the need to write just to hear myself talk (or think).   It is only cathartic for me to write if there is purpose in what I have to say.   I have said from the beginning that the purpose of cataloging my thoughts here is that I/we may SEE what GOD IS DOING, not simply what I am feeling.   What I am feeling is of no consequence unless God is in it.   Believe me, I feel LOTS…all the time.   Still not a day goes by that the tears do not find me, and many that bring screams and wailing cries from my knees.   In all of this, God is faithful.   He is gently instructing me and wooing me and I am learning to depend on my loving, gracious God more than ever….not spiritual platitudes, but actually depending on a deep connected relationship with the Fat