The Perfect Life

As usual I was awake from 2:00 -5:00 am last night (this morning?...whatever).  My insomnia usually comes with a narrative and this is what struck me in the wee hours of this morning.  It doesn't really fit with the rest of the writings in this blog, so I wasn't sure what to do with it, but I felt like writing, so here it is.  Consider this the random thought that occurs in the middle of conversation with your good friend.  By now we're close enough that we don't really have to stick to a theme or agenda, right?  

My life is not perfect.  But I’m fine with that!  Truth is, I’m so over the “my life is perfect” social media image people are selling.  You see it - the flawless selfies, the 2 1/2 kids poised perfectly on an antique sofa in the middle of a field of poppies, the school lunches with dolphin shaped sandwiches, the new white picket fence homes being built, the Christmas trees that look like they came out of Better Homes & Gardens, and “just got my new Louis Vuitton for our surprise dream Disney vacay!  Our 2 1/2 children are going to love it!  What should I pack?”   This is the, “check out how perfect my life is; don’t you wish you were me?” image that is sending women into a tizzy.  AND if you add, “Join me with… “ fill in the blank with your MLM of choice,  I might actually hurl.  Geez, Jenn, that was a little harsh.

Ahhhh, but if you’re reading this, you’re like, “girl, didn’t you do that, too?”  Ok, I admit it!  I did it, too!  “Check out my new Cadillac!  #lipboss Look at us on this amazing all-expense paid vacation!  Check out our new home in Nicaragua!  Look at me working poolside from home.  Don’t you wish you had this life? I’m so BLESSED! #watchmeorjoinme”  Right about now, I’m making a bunch of people angry.  Why am I hating on my sisters like this?  Oh no, I’m not!!!  I love you girl bosses more than life itself!!!  All I’m saying is we need a little reality check up in here!  Those things I’m talking about - they’re all TRUE!  We did all those things and HAVE those things largely because of our amazing business.  It’s not untrue, it’s just that it’s only a PARTIAL view.  And I fear just MAYBE that we are setting up some unrealistic expectations for people, which is why so many of them quit shortly after starting something new.  Nowadays we expect instantaneous change!  We expect to be magically transformed by the new exercise or diet program, the self-help study, the new side gig, or whatever, and if our life doesn’t quickly begin to mirror the success stories we are seeing in social media, we take another ding to our self esteem and fall off the radar.  

I love Facebook and the way it allows us to maintain relationships with so many people, but the problem is that it has become more popular and acceptable to promote our happy facades than our real lives.  Rather than allowing people to get to KNOW us, we are smoke and mirrors magicians allowing them to see only what we wish!  We don’t know anyone’s “real life” anymore.  Everyone look like a movie star (thank you, camera filters!!! - and no, I’m not getting rid of mine!).  I love those close up selfies with the wrinkles airbrushed out because the truth is, I don’t look so great!  Haha!  I’ve gained 28 pounds this year, 25 of them since Jon died, so I don’t need you to see below my neck!  I don’t sleep much at all, I don’t eat right or take care of myself, so I pretty much look worse than ever, but I’m not about to show you that on FB for crying out loud!  I SELL makeup, so I should never look like anything less than a porcelain doll!  Yeah, my life is far from perfect.  I live in a messy 2 bedroom apartment with my 2 teenagers, sharing a bedroom with my 16 year old.  Btw, did y’all know sharing a bedroom ALSO means sharing a closet and bathroom….WITH A 16 YEAR OLD GIRL?  Yeah - me either!  Haha!  Fortunately, she is an absolute joy 97% of the time and I am about 60% of the time, so there’s that!  But our room is a mess- there are piles of laundry in every place except the hamper.  There’s an empty wine glass or 2 on my night stand, along with 47 kleenexes, a bottle of Advil and Anti-acids.  I did the dishes yesterday, but for some reason, the sink is full again and I probably won’t do them again for a couple of days..  And there is a weird smell coming from the refrigerator, so thank God for Bath & Bodyworks wallflowers!  As the sole provider for this trio, I’m stressed out financially.  It’s not that we aren’t making it, we are!  Praise God!  He is ALWAYS faithful, but my income has dropped 60% in the past 8 months.  I guess not working for 5 months will do that - who knew?  Thankfully I know how to hustle, so I am putting Lipsense on people and making bracelets in the middle of the night - whatever it takes.  But, just so you know, I’m not sitting on my leather sofa in my cashmere robe (is that even a thing?) while the checks roll in!  Does that mean that my business isn’t working they way it should or that I’m not so blessed to have it in my life?  Absolutely not!  Quite the opposite!  Let me tell you WHY I wouldn’t trade this for any other job or life for that matter.  

When LIFE happened to me, when my world came crashing down around me, I had an army of sisters, people I had not even KNOWN a year before, who were by my side.  These girls showed up with flowers, hugs, homemade chicken pot pies, Bar-BQ, hugs, paper goods, sweet notes, and did I say, hugs.  They donated money to ease our financial burden.  They WORKED my business, sacrificing time to train and encourage my team when I couldn’t do anything but sit in a rocking chair on my back porch.   And they didn’t stop 2 weeks or one month after Jon died.  They still send me encouraging messages and love on me us all the time.  Their is a fierce loyalty in our sisterhood and I wouldn’t trade it for ANYTHING!  Secondly, I may never be a zillionaire with the perfect life, but this business plan is solid, sound and it works!  Thank God!  Because I had worked at it for 10 months, I had built enough residual income to continue to pay us and cover our bills and more - even if I did not work or if I sold next to nothing for a few months.  The gift, the blessing of not needing to work a job during a time my heart was so heavy and broken, was HUGE!  Because of this amazing business, I wasn’t going to Disney with my kids or building a dream home, but I WAS able to sit in my rocking chair and cry my eyes out when I needed to.  I was able to work 15 minutes at a time with my scattered thoughts and stop when I could do no more.  And at a time when life was too much to bear, I didn’t have to worry about how I was going to pay the bills.  HUGE BLESSING!  My time is MINE!  I can hustle one day and paint in my pajamas the next day.  I can work 24 hours a day or spend an entire day helping someone else wrap Christmas presents.  It is so refreshing to have those options!   And lastly, the products are truly unparalleled in quality.  The skincare and cosmetics may not transform you into a 12 year old virgin with baby soft skin, but it will allow you to look YOUR best in YOUR skin.  We make women feel more beautiful and self-confident in their faces.  What is not to love about that?   

So, my life may not look perfect, but I’m ok with that!  I feel grateful and blessed to be here.  I have an amazing family, good friends, and wonderful kids!  We have a comfortable roof over our heads, plenty to eat, cars to drive, health insurance and wifi! I have the luxury of working from home with women who inspire me.  I had the true love of my best friend and soul mate.  I have the unfailing love of God, hope for the future, peace in my heart and and joy in my journey…….On second thought, maybe my life IS perfect.